Relationship Therapy & Counseling - Gilbert McCurdy, LCSW
Therapy for Dating & Relationships in NYC
This can feel especially challenging for gay men and LGBTQ+ individuals.
Beyond the universal struggles—dating app anxiety, repeated dead-end relationships—the community faces unique pressures shaped by social, cultural, and personal factors that can leave you discouraged, confused, or disconnected.
some common dating & relationship challenges include:
App Culture & "The Scene": Swiping on Grindr and Scruff, decoding hookup culture, situationships, ghosting, and pressure to conform to certain body types or sexual roles.
Community Pressures: Unspoken hierarchies around age, looks, masculinity, or "types" that affect self-esteem and the ability to form genuine connections.
Minority Stress: Discrimination, microaggressions, or past trauma that make it harder to feel safe opening up and being vulnerable with others.
Party Culture: Peer pressure and normalized substance use that can increase dating anxiety and worsen underlying mental health over time.
Outness & Double Lives: Questions around being out, family acceptance, and internalized homophobia that add layers of stress and secrecy straight counterparts rarely face.
Without looking deeper at the underlying patterns many people find themselves repeating old mistakes, settling for less, or opting out of dating altogether. With compassion and self-awareness, you can unlearn those old scripts and create space for relationships and friendships that feel emotionally safe and true to who you are.
Some Issues Commonly Covered in Relationship Therapy
For Singles
You may be attracting inconsistent or unavailable partners, with past heartbreaks and attachment wounds resurfacing.
Fear of rejection, communication struggles, or navigating disclosure can make it hard to connect authentically.
Growing up with messages of shame or hiding parts of yourself can affect how you trust, bond, and see your worth.
Therapy can help you embrace single life confidently, find community, and build a healthier relationship with yourself.
For Those in Relationships
Recurring arguments, miscommunication, or feeling invisible are common—especially when partners have different levels of outness or intimacy needs.
Losing yourself in a relationship or feeling disconnected even while together often stems from unhealed wounds or difficulty advocating for your own needs.
Navigating open relationships, non-monogamy, or polyamory requires open communication, mutual consent, and ongoing attention to everyone's needs and boundaries.
My Therapeutic Approach to Relationship Therapy
I bring both lived experience and professional experience from over 25 years working in the gay community.
Together we'll identify and help shift unhelpful patterns, build communication skills, and cultivate greater self-compassion. We'll explore your values and desires, help strengthen your emotional resilience, and work toward relationships that feel genuinely fulfilling.
I use an integrated approach that addresses both the psychological and somatic dimensions of relationship patterns.
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IFS helps you identify the internal parts of yourself that drive relationship patterns—like fear of rejection, people-pleasing, or self-abandonment—so you can show up more authentically in your connections with others.
Learn more: Internal Family Systems (IFS)
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EFT helps you and your partner break negative interaction cycles, express underlying needs safely, and build secure emotional bonds rooted in understanding rather than reaction. As a Certified EFT Therapist for Couples, I bring both proven methodology and deep expertise to this work—giving you confidence that you're using one of the most researched and effective approaches to couples therapy available.
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EMDR helps you process past relationship wounds, rejection, or trauma that may be unconsciously driving your patterns today—so those experiences lose their emotional charge and no longer shape how you show up in relationships
Learn more: EMDR
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SE helps you release the physical tension and nervous system patterns that can make intimacy and vulnerability feel unsafe—building a deeper sense of embodied safety that allows for more genuine connection with others.
Learn more: Somatic Experiencing (SE)
